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5 Wacky Valentine's Day Love Stories

From first dates that went horribly wrong to relationship milestones that would garner a standing ovation, here’s a collection of crazy Valentine’s Day incidents for your reading pleasure. If you can relate to any of these stories, bless your heart LOL.

1. 7-Year Itch?

Not my story but still - so one day I was swiping for my friend (J) on her tinder account when I came across another friend’s (X) bf’s profile. X works in Korea and she’s been in an LDR with her bf for about 7 years now. They were planning to BTO next month and she even got air tickets to fly here next week to surprise him on Valentine’s day.

Anyway, I immediately swiped right and sent X a screenshot of the match. She was hysterical and wanted to teach him a lesson, so we decided to bait that mofo. Using J’s account, I told him to meet J at a bar that same night. When he arrived, I quickly snapped a photo of him as evidence...

… before confronting him. He was stunned and gave me the BS excuse that he was here to meet friends… until he saw J coming up to me. He knew he was f*cked.

Long story short, I ended up spending my night drinking with him and J. We tore the mofo down to shreds with our nagging. Overall it was a fun night for me, but not so much for my poor friend X. 

2. All Girlfriends Are Crazy

I got my girlfriend a bouquet for our first Valentine’s day together. Went to her house to pick her up cos we were supposed to go for a movie then dinner at her favourite Japanese restaurant. 

Went up to her house without the flowers cos I wanted to surprise her when she got in the car. Wrong move. The minute she opened the door and saw me empty-handed, she started bawling like mad. Wtf. Told her to get ready or we will miss our movie but she refused to move. Spent the next 3 hours telling me I’m the worst boyfriend ever and crap. Had a huge fight and missed our movie completely. Day ruined until she finally decided to go for dinner. Saw the flowers in the car, cried again (this time out of happiness she swears) and scolded me again for messing with her.

Moral of story: all girlfriends are out to give you high blood pressure. Proof is below. (We’re still together but I’ve learnt to stop all surprises to which she says: BABY WHY YOU DON’T SURPRISE ME ANYMORE???)

Source: Gf’s spam acc cos she’s embarrassed

3. 12 Orgasms in 24Hrs

My girlfriend and I are pretty competitive people. We enjoy doing random challenges and there’ll always be a prize we’re fighting for. 

For Valentine’s day last year, we decided to have a competition to see how many times we could make each other climax. Whoever makes the other party climax the most will get full bragging rights, a free dinner and one ultimate favour that can be claimed anytime.

As expected, I won. But to be fair, girls can climax way more often than guys so really this competition was rigged in my favour.

(yup we had a whiteboard to keep score - serious competition only) 

I thought about what I wanna use the favour for and decided to mess with her. I told her she’s not supposed to climax for a month and I saw the blood drain out from her face.

Hehe. Best Valentine’s ever.

4. Valentine’s Scare

Last year my gf asked me for a sex toy for Valentine’s Day so I got her a butt plug. It was our first time using anal toys and also a relationship milestone lol. Anyway it was all good till at night and we couldn’t find the plug anywhere in my room or in the house. We have a 2-year-old Shetland and he’s very greedy, always eating things he finds. I was dead sure he ate the plug but he didn’t look like he was in pain. Still, I was prepared to take him to the vet the next day if I still can’t find the plug anywhere (just in case). Turned the lights off cos I was gonna head to bed, then I suddenly saw this:

TLDR: Bought a butt plug, used it with my gf and couldn’t find it anywhere the next day. Thought the dog ate it but luckily we found it at night cos it GLOWS IN THE DARK.

5. Cheap Thrills

My boyfriend is a practical man and he doesn’t like to splurge or spend unnecessarily. But whenever I go on my holidays without him, he will send me a little bit of money for my travelling expenses without me asking, so that’s really sweet. 

On my first trip without him, he sent me $100 and in return, I bought him 3 pieces of gym clothing and kept the rest for myself (bout $10 left). On my second trip, he sent me $500 and I bought him even more clothing and souvenirs for his family. I thought he wouldn’t ask me for the money cos the first time he didn’t. But he said the $500 was a loan (in case I didn’t have enough) so I diligently transferred the money back. 

I think I was scammed??? So for Valentine’s I told him I prepared a huge surprise for him after dinner and he said he was going to treat me to Fat Cow (hehe). 

Once we got home from dinner, I told him to hit the shower while I prepared the surprise. By the time he came back into the room I was already asleep in bed, changed into PJs, and make-up off. 

Cheap thrills. Lol.

(Think this whole meal was bout $400)

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